I'm just not happy.
Even in saying that, I feel I have to take stock in what I DO have:
I love my wife, she's wonderful. She's everything I always wanted in a partner.
I have a job that pays well for the work that I do -- I'm essentially paid for what I am able to do when the situation arises, not what I'm physically doing all day.
I have a pretty new house, it's only a few years old and in great shape (no need for major repairs). It's not as big as it could be, but it's cheap.
I drive a decent car, a 2001 Honda Accord, and my wife drives an '05 Accord. They're both safe, relatively fuel-efficient, and the car payment for the '01 is only $200 a month.
We're healthy (as far as we know).
We're not poor.
We have stuff (3 computers, 50" plasma TV, high definition channels, a washer and dryer, a dishwasher, etc...)
I guess what I'm saying here is that I have no clear reason to not be happy. I have all I need.
But it doesn't seem to be enough.
There's an emptiness. There's want.
I'm finding myself constantly wondering what it is that I need, what I am looking for, what it is that I'm missing.
I wonder if I'm unfulfilled somehow.
I wonder if I'm just self-absorbed.
I wonder if I've just been conditioned to believe I need more (wouldn't you LOVE to have a bigger house, a nicer car, better clothes, a bluetooth/MP3/GPS phone, hardwood floors, a well-stocked liquor cabinet, cool shoes, expensive toys? We're BOMBARDED every day by ads telling us we should HAVE IT ALL).
I'm frustrated. I know I should be happy, content. But I'm not.
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